How to Fast Forward the Fight

We share some tips to help stop a little bickering from turning into a disaster.

You’ve been together for a while and are beginning to figure out that not everyday is a picnic. You begin to see forewarning signs of an impending explosion caused by who-knows-what. Whether or not you did something wrong is at this point irrelevant, only that you are not immediately making it better, or possibly making it worse, does.

This may be unfair but my mission today is to provide some helpful hints for all you boys out there to help both you and your ladies get through the rough patches without taking a chunk out of each other. Here, my friends, is a crash course on how to get through a fight with your girlfriend as smoothly as possible. Read carefully, this could save your life one day. Just kidding…

Avoid Crazy Talk

She could be talking about something that seems insane, irrational, or completely out there so you decide to call it like it is. Bad move. Telling her that she’s crazy or not making any sense, will just make the whole situation worse. Take a second to think about what she’s saying without getting defensive. Sometimes girls just get tired of asking for little things that make all the difference; that doesn’t make them crazy.

Say What You Mean

Ok, so let’s say you think she’s being a little excessive or getting too upset about a little thing. If your girlfriend is upset about your relationship with another girl, don’t brush her off with an evasive comment; try to talk to her about it. Explain your side of the story and reassure her!

Sitting there silently because you’re afraid of saying something to upset her does NOT help. I repeat: silence does NOT help the situation. Don’t gush out all your feelings every time you spend time with another woman, but girls like it once in a while to know what’s going on in your head and how you feel about them.

Mean What You Say

No, this is not the same as the last point. Apologizing without actually meaning it or even understanding what you are apologizing for is a brutal mistake. It may make the current state of discomfort go away but odds are, you WILL pick up the fight again in the near future. Save yourself the headache of fighting about the same things over and over again and make sure that you fully understand what she’s upset about and then deal with it. Still think she’s being unfair? Talk to her calmly and rationally.

Remain C-A-L-M

It may be hard, but do your best to look at the big picture and not just one part of
what she’s saying. I can’t count the number of times my boyfriend and I have gotten stuck on some tiny unimportant comment, made solely out of frustration.

These little comments are often the result of growing tension and aggravation because either you or your girlfriend just can’t get your point across properly. When you see the gloves coming off, try to keep yourself calm and lead by example. If she sees you trying to keep it civil, she will do the same.

Don’t Walk Out

This one doesn’t even get an explanatory paragraph, pretty straight forward and to the point. Need to get away? Let her know you need some space to think, don’t just pick up and leave. Sounds ridiculous to some but so many guys actually do this, it’s distressing.

Show Some Love

Maybe your lady being all frustrated and flustered does not give you the immediate desire to run up and hug her, but sometimes that’s all she needs. No, this is not a quick fix for the times that you screw up but when the freak out seems to come from nowhere, it’s possible we are looking for some comfort and reassurance.

Whether she’s working or schooling or both, the world has a way of bogging her down and some tender loving care often does the trick. She really doesn’t want to be yelling at YOU, but you happen to be there. Don’t act like you don’t do it too! Sometimes you just need to get out some frustration and then you require a comforting bear hug. There’s no shame in that!

Ground Yourself

Boys and girls, we are all guilty of this. Our other half starts nagging at us about something recent and we bring up all kinds of things that they’ve done in order to defend our actions, or to put the spotlight on them. This is a big no-no. It is important for you to keep yourself focused on the situation at hand so that it doesn’t escalate into something worse. Bringing up old issues only opens up old wounds and gives both of you more ammunition. Make love, not war, and leave the past in the past.

_________________________________
get to the good stuff!

I wish there was some foolproof plan that I could give you all to insure that every fight could be dealt with in a jiffy, but alas, this is impossible. However, as a woman I can assure you that if you keep these tips in mind, you will make at least a tiny bit of progress in the struggle to understand your significant other.

Apply them as you think is appropriate, because let’s face it, she may be kind of wacky sometimes but she’s got your heart. How do I know this? Either you read this article to kill some time, or you really want to figure out a way to make your relationship stronger. Regardless, it shows some effort and that’s always good! So, to all you quarrelling lovers, I wish you speedy tiffs and hot make up sex!